Shaq Could Return Sunday. Most Likely It'll Be 2014.

Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers was uncertain Thursday morning about a timetable for Shaquille O'Neal's return to action from an Achilles injury, but Danny Ainge shed light on the situation on Thursday afternoon.   The Celtics president of basketball operations said on WEEI's "The Big Show" that O'Neal will be back on the court either Sunday or Tuesday.  "I was just with Shaq, we were just working out down in Waltham," Ainge told WEEI. "Shaq is either going to play Sunday or Tuesday. ... 'Bleed into the playoffs' I think is something different than he's not going to play until the playoffs. But it looks like he's ready to go Sunday or Tuesday."  With Jermaine O'Neal set to return from arthroscopic knee surgery Thursday against the San Antonio Spurs, Ainge could soon have his center tandem intact in time for the playoffs.


There's a couple things I never want to hear about my 39 year old center and "bleed into the playoffs" is one of them. You also never want to hear a girl tell you she's going to bleed into her underwear. You can pretty much kiss her on the cheek, thank her for the delightful evening and head home because that's the best and cleanest fun you're gonna have for the next 7 days. Unless you wanna be a cowboy and play hardball. I know some people who've done but I don't deal well with blood. I'd probably pass out and the girl would go around telling her friends she's so hot that she made Rizzy so dizzy that he passed out. Ya right, bitch. Where were we? I'm so fucking sick of hearing about the return of Shaq and Jermaine O'Neal. One of them is coming back tonight and another is coming back in a couple days? I'll believe it when I see it. What Danny Ainge needs to do is sack up like Calhoun in 2003 and tell us he fucked up and he fucked up hard by trading Perk. You can argue Perk was already injured and demanding a big contract in the future but that shit doesn't matter right now. He was part of our identity and best friends with the big 4. You don't break up best friends and think there won't be some awful aftermath. You know how old people die when their spouses bite the dust? That's what happening to this Celts seam and I'll probably do the same when my cat gets thrashed apart by a coyote. Can't see myself going on without the little guy. That's real love and the power of love is immense. The heart wants what it wants. Lucas Scott taught me that.

And On The Third Day, God Said Let There Be Peace.

Also, http://mutualuniversity.blogspot.com/ has mentioned us.  It's a really entertaining blog and is fucking funny.  Go read it.  And when I said 20 something gonorrhea infested dicks who graduated when Bush was in the white house and who spread their seed everywhere, I was talking about Johnne Rudek hooking up with high school sophmores.  I guess I should have said Bush's first term, my bad.

Uhhh nobody told me Ben Wilson was the chief guy over there at Brandon Jennings' Dew. I thought it was a two man show or some bullshit. That motherfucker once rocked a Reggie Miller jersey to pickup basketball at Foote Road. Everybody knows how I feel about Reggie. My kind of guy.

P.S. I knew that line about 20 something year olds with gonorrhea wasn't about  me. I had a physical in September and last I checked, I had no STD's. Also, my only sexual partner since then has been Brooklyn Decker and that vagina looks like Mr. Cleans dome piece.

Every Expert In America Is Picking The Sox To Win It This Year. I Don't Like It.

Following the acquisitions of Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez, as well as the revamping of the bullpen, Red Sox fans couldn't harbor greater expectations for their team in 2011. ESPN's experts are on the same page. Of the 45 offering their 2011 predictions, 33 picked the Sox to win the World Series. The Phillies received the second most predictions with seven, while the defending champion Giants were picked by just one expert. The Yankees received zero votes of confidence. Every single expert picked the Sox to win the AL East, and 41 of 45 picked the Sox to win the pennant. The Yankees were given two pennant predictions, while the White Sox and Rays garnered one each.

This is kind of uncharted territory for us. Has a team ever had such high expectations after an off-season? I guess I'm just not comfortable with everyone and their newly adopted Japanese sister to be picking us to win the AL. I get the feeling that something fishy is going on out there, like they don't really mean it and they just want get my hopes up. It's like if someone tells me I'm funny and that this blog is great. I know they're just trying to get a reaction out of me and play me like a fiddle, so I fake a smile but deep down I'd like to physically assault every part of their face then let Donahue play around with their butthole. This post has taken a weird turn that I didn't plan on but all I'm trying to say is I don't like everybody picking us to rule the world even though it's inevitable. I mean you don't get back Pedroia, Youk, Jacoby from injury and then add Gonzo and Crawford and not win a ring. Just doesn't happen. Oh, we also have the future Cy-young in Jonny Lester. Gonna be a fun season. Buckle up, bitch. Yeah I meant to say bitch and not bitches. I'm talking to you, you fucking ugly bitch with the bangs and big earrings.

This Guy Thinks Lebron Is a Pussy

Is that the fastest way to shut someone up without having to speak? I like it better than the finger because you can almost get away with telling someone their a vagina in public without people giving you dirty looks.

Even Macauley Culkin's Brother Is Making Out With Hayden?

"Scream 4" has released four new photos. In one still, Rory Culkin's Charlie Walker is snapped leaning in as if to share a kiss with Hayden Panettiere's Kirby Reed. Another picture sees Trevor Sheldon (Nico Tortorella) sitting next to bloody Jill Roberts (Emma Roberts) in the hospital. Neve Campbell and Courteney Cox are also snapped in other photos.

Now I know for 100% certainty that I'm better looking than that kid. He has absolutely no business being on camera with a face like that. Am I the person who expects the Culkin brothers to go on a killing spree in the next 10 years? Years of being ugly and getting butt fucked by Michael Jackson will drive anyone crazy. At least that's what Sellberg told me once. And are her eyes open? You know the kiss doesn't mean anything if one of the person's eyes are open. That's spin the bottle 101. I  used that excuse in 6th grade when I was macking on  all the nappy headed hoes between recess and L-block. My main man Mr. Platz AKA Kenny-Pleazer AKA Kenny Good Times would block the bathroom door like a security guard for Roethlisberger.

There's Another Blog In Town And Nobody Told Me?

www.allegedlyawesome.blogspot.com which also falls under the name "Brandon Jennings' Dew." Motherfuckers have like 49 followers or some shit and I only have 21. I won't talk about pageviews because that's what it's all about(10,000 aint bad. You know what aint bad either? 82,000. Word to Justin Timberlake) but what gives? Am I not entertaining enough? Do dudes read what I have to say and they're like "uhh no, no. This is so much better." Maybe. I know one thing for sure and that's that they don't have a cat who is the chief editor, CEO, manager and agent for a blog like I do. That's a X-factor you can't fuck with. If you told me a year ago that Steve Caruso would read this blog, jack my swag from Foote Road, create his own blog, and then never tell me about it, I would have slapped your balls into the Farmington River and cracked a bottle of Pepto Bismol over your head. I actually have no idea if he writes on that blog, I just really liked him the only two times I've met him. He has a 'ness factor that you don't see in boys these days. I think we noticed that spark in each other and an instant fire was made. Shanil, too. He talked shit to me once and I've never respected somebody so fast in my life. I just love Indian people. Seriously. Have you ever met an Indian guy and walked away thinking he was a deuchebag? No way. They're the shit. By now you have probably found out that I am speaking ironically and have nothing but nice things to say about these people. Branding Jennings' Dew, change nothing.


UPDATE: Is this a shot at me? "well we don't form clics and allow 20 something gonorrhea infested dicks who graduated back when Bush was still in the White House to spread their seed on this blog like some people." I graduated when Bush was still in in office. A lot of you did. I'm 20 something. If you bitches wanna do the damn thing then let's get to gettin it on. Let's call this a call to arms. I got no qualms with starting a blog war. But let this be known; I don't quit. I'll come for that ass and I'll keep coming for that ass until the white flag is waved. Tips4Tits went from averaging 3 posts a day to 1 every 3 days because he's worried about the direction I'll attack from. That's what happens when an unstoppable force is met with nothing but a cardboard box.


P.P.S. or P.S.S. 3 on 3 Tournament at Courtside in 2 weeks? Better tie those laces up tight, there's gonna be a lot of ankle breaking and Rza isn't talking about basketball right now.

I Just Died Inside.

Look at those little paws. That's enough to cheer me up for an entire week. The funny thing about this video is that's exactly how I sleep at night. Line up, ladies.

I've Had a 15 Year Crush On Dottie

I'd totally make this my senior quote in the yearbook if I could go back in time. "There's a lot of things about me you don't know anything about. Things you wouldn't understand, things you couldn't understand, things you shouldn't understand." Why is this post relevant? It's not. Talking about the Celtics would just piss me off and I'm already in a bad mood today. I put on navy blue socks when I was wearing a black hoodie. Major fashion no-no. I sat in class kicking myself for 90 minutes because I know I'm so much better than that. Total rookie mistake.

Jenna Rose Refuses To Quit

I hope I'm not alone when I say I was terrified the FBI was gonna burst through the door and arrest me for watching kiddie porn. What the fuck was that? I had to turn it off after 1:30 because I was so disturbed. I don't know. I don't feel right after watching that. I guess this is what rape victims feel like when they want to erase the last 4 minutes from their brain.

Hey Kids, This Is Why You Don't Do Drugs.

Oak Island Police tell TMZ Evans was booked into Brunswick County Jail and was released shortly thereafter on bond. According to Jenelle's attorney, a warrant was issued for Jenelle's arrest after police saw the video of Evans fighting with another girl. The other girl in the video, Britany Truett, initially said she wasn't going to press charges, but changed her mind over the weekend.  Evans is charged with assault and "affray for fighting." She is due back in court April 26. An attorney for Evans tells TMZ, "Based on the information that I have received, I believe Jenelle was set up." UPDATE: Get this ... cops had a warrant for Kieffer Delp (the guy Jenelle and Britany were fighting over) based on a cocaine charge from last year ... and they found him at Jenelle's house and arrested him too

Talk about a bad day, right? One second you're throwing down in the front yard with a bitch like it's recess and the next thing you know, you're getting handcuffed in your house while your boyfriend gets picked up for a cocaine charge from a year ago. This is exactly why I'm pro-abortion. Has anybody thought about how fucked up this kid is gonna be when he gets older? Jenelle should be a walking ad for abstinence. And don't you think her mom wishes she had an abortion, too? I've never seen a more self destructive piece of shit on TV in my entire life. I just don't get it. How do you get your child taken away and not have some sort of life adjustment? That doesn't tell you to wake the fuck up? And then she steals her mom's credit card and drives to Jersey like it's not a big deal? My only advice would be to kill yourself. Jam an icepick in your throat and kill yourself. Your son won't even miss you because it's like you never existed to him anyway. If you think that's being harsh then you haven't seen anything. Catch me on a Tuesday and ask me how I feel about Taylor Swift, dudes who fake tan, Jay Leno and Terry Bradshaw.

Raise Your Hand If You're All Sorts of Excited To Watch VCU/Butler

SAN ANTONIO -- Move over, Butler. Virginia Commonwealth is crashing the Final Four.
Two weeks ago, the 11th-seeded Rams so doubted they would get an NCAA tournament invite that they watched Cartoon Network and went out for burgers instead of watching the selection show. Now, all of America will be watching them in the Final Four.The 11th-seeded Rams are heading to Houston, and final No. 1 seed Kansas is heading home after the biggest March upset in years.

I mean it when I say there's a 70% chance I won't even watch this game.  All I ask is somebody wakes me up in time for the UConn game and tell me who we're playing on monday because the idea of Butler/VCU does nothing for me. I'd rather watch a fucking NIT game with powerhouse schools than a bunch of slapdick basketball squads go head to head on the game's biggest stage. I'd even be all in if it was Kansas/Butler but two teams I don't give a shit about does absolutely nothing for me. I always do the ball test when deciding if I'm gonna watch something. If my right nut does a little jump motion then it's game time, if not then it's c-ya later.

I'm Not Sure Who I Want To Smack More

How 'bout the clown of a father in this video? Hey bro, you're not 17 anymore. You can chill out with hair dye and earrings. I don't think the garage band gig is gonna go work out. It's time to set an example for your kid and be a positive member of society and by the looks of it, you're failing with both. What kind of slapdick jokes are those? I'm a big believer in if you're gonna make me open up a door, you better have something intelligent to say or I'll smack you right the fuck off the front step like it's fight night 2004. This video just encourages the kid to be a dumb asshole for the rest of his life like his dad. Nobody likes a dumb asshole. Donahue.


P.S. "Heeeyyy. What's uuupppp? Heeyyy guuyyyss, how did the glasses walk over the bridge?" is exactly how I talk when I'm drunk.

This Might Be Why The Rest Of The World Hates Us

Stay classy, New Jersey. Always have to go and fuck up the party for the rest of us.

Enough Said.

I take back every bad thing I've ever said about Calhoun as a coach. You don't get a bunch of freshman to the final 4 just because you have Kemba on the roster. Bring 'em in, coach 'em up.

Jim Halpert Is Wearing My Jeans! Al Roker Is Wearing My Jeans!

Now raise your hand if Al Roker was the last guy you thought I'd call out. And no, I don't have those jeans. I'm not fat. Or Puerto Rican.

Police Mistake Black Guy For Another Black Guy. Shit Happens, Right?

COLUMBIA, S.C. -- South Carolina's top football recruit Jadeveon Clowney was detained and handcuffed briefly by Columbia police early Friday morning because authorities say he fit the description of a burglar. To demonstrate -- and downplay -- what happened to Clowney, Gamecocks coach Steve Spurrier was detained and handcuffed briefly by Police Chief Randy Scott while talking to the media after practice Friday afternoon. Clowney was stopped at 2 a.m. Friday morning, but Scott stressed that the 18-year-old South Pointe High senior did nothing wrong. The chief did say Clowney was wrongly allowed into a bar in the Five Points district near campus; Scott said he was told the person who let Clowney inside had been fired. "A lot of people would probably get upset getting handcuffed, but the police have a tough job to do," Spurrier said. "They don't know who has a gun who's going to shoot them or not. So a lot of times they will handcuff a person, ask him a few questions and that's the end of it." Clowney spoke to WIS-TV in Columbia about the incident. "They put the cuffs on us, searched us and said 'we must have the wrong guys,' " he said.

Only in the south can you get away with this shit like it's not a big deal.  Even Spurrier acted like it was no sweat off his ass "They got a tough job to do, they don't know who has a gun or who's going to shoot them or not." Wait. What? They just assume every black guy has a gun and may or may not shoot them once they start getting questioned so they slap the cuffs on them? So no matter what, they cuff you even if they want to talk? Sounds a lot like slavery. Tie this dude down so he won't run off the plantation. The south is like the wild, wild west of old. Every man for himself, make the rules up as you go along and the only thing you can hope for is to not get caught in the crossfire.

I Keep Forgetting What Day It is

Oh, that's right. Yesterday was Thursday. Today it is Friday. We, we, we so excited. Thanks for the reminder you wide hipped bitch.


P.S. How did I miss the massive mole on the chick in the front seat? She might want to get that thing checked out for skin cancer. No joke. It looks like it's two different shades of brown and that's never good news. Just like money, Melanoma never sleeps.

Celebration Part 2. Duke Is NOT Headed To The Elite 8!

Did anybody see Arizona last night? Holy shit. That's really all I can say to describe them. They're down 6 at one point and the next they're finishing off a 19-2 run. They're kind of the last team I wanna face right now. Derrick Williams is 6-8 match up problem for the Huskies. I don't know who can guard him. Lamb? Smith? Coombs? Williams is a grown man playing in a college kid's game. It fucking sucks because I like 'Zona a lot and always have. Point guard University. Gilbert Arenas, Jason Terry, Jerryd Bayless, Jason Gardner, Salim Stoudemire. I remember all those guys. And Sean Miller might be my favorite coach in college basketball. This must be what Dan Scott felt like in One Tree Hill when he watched Nathan battle Lucas on the River Court. He was proud both of the kids were his but he was only a true father to one of them so he allegiance pretty much stayed with Nathan. So does that make Arizona my sexy son who I've never had a relationship with? I like it. You don't see Donahue pulling these analogies out of his ass on Tips4Tits.

UConn Is Headed To The Elite 8. Cue The Music!

Is Kemba Walker the most lovable Husky of all time? I think so. He gets this team to the final 4 and he'll pass Ray Allen and Rip Hamilton in my book. You all know the drill by now. Turn the music up and do your happy dance. Come on, come on! Feel it, feel it!



P.S. Clearly Kemba's pregame speech did just the trick.

I Want This Painting. I Need This Painting.

Uhhhmmm What?

Almost famous? A win against UConn would be a real game changer for the already rising Aztecs? I might be mistaken but isn't San Diego St. the #2 seed in the West bracket? And haven't they been ranked in the top 10 for most of the season? So where are they rising from? UConn came out of pretty much nowhere, blitzed through the Big East tourny then dominated the first 2 games with ease and they did it all with 1 sophomore 3 freshman and a superstar junior that everybody expected to be good but not blow a load in your pants good. How's that for a team on the rise?


P.S. San Diego State is playing a home game tonight they're only favored by 1 point. If that's not a slap in the face then I don't know what is. Steve Fish can't win the big one. Quote me on that.

This Is What Your Average Wiz Khalifa Fan Looks Like

Between the age of 15-20 and white. That's about it. Except I'm pretty sure 80% of Wiz fans are chicks. Like you never see dudes going off about how dope of a rhymer he is. It's always girls who love that he smokes weed with his shirt off and talks about how many bitches he can get with because he smokes weed and has money. Dude is fucking boring. I don't really understand the appeal and if that makes me a rap snob then so be it. I like my music to be a little unique. Sorry I'm not trying to listen to the same fucking song 12 different times on an album. It'd be one thing if the guy had different beats to every song but he doesn't. It's literally the same pattern every time. Some corny ass beat that pop listeners will get wet over, he raps about weed, he sings some half assed chorus that sounds like it was produced by a 15 year old and then he raps another verse about weed and girls. Him and Taylor Swift are fucking made for one another. One can whine about boy problems and the other can go off about how chill life is and hopefully they end up killing each other in the end.

Is This Real Life?

A 13-year-old Orange girl missing since Sunday has been found safe in an abandoned farmstand about three miles from her house.  Isabella Oleschuck, a 7th grade student at Amity Middle School, disappeared on Sunday morning and hundreds of emergency officials and volunteers had been searching for her since. After being found, she told her parents she was stressed about the Connecticut Mastery Tests being given at school, according to her father, Roman Oleschuck.  "Hearing those words that your child is safe and out of harms way, and is healthy and unharmed, that's all that matters to any parent that cares," Oleschuck said. Hidden away in what appears to be a garage in the northern part of town, with no heat, Isabella had no idea that such a big search was underway.  On Wednesday morning, someone driving the farm stand on Indian River and Prindle Hill roads thought she saw someone's head from a hole in the building. She drove by a couple times and called police at 10:46 a.m., 14 minutes before Orange police and Isabella's family were to hold a news conference to provide updates on the teen. Sure enough, it was Isabella.   Officer Jude Fedorchuck went to the stand and found a blonde girl wearing a bandana. he asked what her name was and she said "Isabella." The shed kept her from the elements as snow and rain fell over the state. Inside, it was cold, but she was bundled up in a coat and a blanket,police said. She had brought Pop-Tarts and granola bars to eat and juice to drink, but the food supply was starting to run out.

Let me get this straight just so we're all on the same page. A 13 year old girl goes missing for 3 days, you search the entire town with tons of help and nobody chirps up and asks about the old, abandoned garage? Seriously? Does anybody watch TV anymore? Doesn't matter if you're looking for the girl when she's alive or dead, the abandoned garage in town seems like one of the top 10 spots I'd check out just to be safe. I mean what do you have to lose, right? Worst case scenario is you come out of there with a corpse. Nothing a few beers can't shake off. Case closed, let's go the donut shop.  But I don't want this missing girl to come out of this thing clean either. She ran away from home because she was stressed about CMT's? Really? Listen, I get it. Those things are a motherfucker but you gotta take that test no matter what and you gotta pass it. You can't hide in a shed, munch on pop-tarts, finger yourself and think your problems will just fade away. What the fuck did she think would happen? Is she gonna walk into school and order up the chicken patty like it's a Tuesday and expect everything to be cool? That's selfish. She's drinking her juice and listening to My Jeans by Jenna Rose while her parents are having images of her rotting body and it's all over a fucking test that everybody has to take. I'd hate to see her in 4 years when she has to take the SATs. 

He's Evolving!

Anybody else notice the use of graphics in this video? And I really can't vouch for any of those colognes. I like to rock Yvees Saint Laurent because I'm just a regular dude with regular dreams with regular looks. I bet your favorite part was the 4 midgets playing piano to Candle in the Wind by Elton John. Good thing he thought of that himself...

Geno Is Upset About a Poor Showing From The Fans

Connecticut coach Geno Auriemma, disappointed by a half-empty arena for Tuesday's home NCAA tournament game, says his team's fans have been spoiled by years of the Huskies' dominance in women's college basketball. "I think it's probably natural. I guess we need to win more," Auriemma said after UConn advanced to its 18th straight Sweet 16 with a 64-40 win over Purdue in the second round of the NCAA tournament. "Everybody loves a winner, you know." "Maybe we should offer free parking, more giveaways," he added. "We should let some of the fans coach the team, maybe a guest coach every quarter." Auriemma's comments came after an announced crowd of 5,729 watched the last home game of star Maya Moore's college career. That's a little more than half of the 10,027-seat capacity at Gampel Pavilion, the school's on-campus basketball facility. UConn has won 112 of its past 113 games -- with the lone loss, on Dec. 30 against Stanford, snapping a 90-game winning streak -- and the past two Division I national championships. "We have a spoiled group of fans who assume we are going to win, who assumed we would be in Philadelphia [for the regionals] and be at the Final Four," Auriemma said. "We had the season, the Big East in Hartford and now the NCAA tournament. You are asking them to do a lot. So I think we don't bid on [hosting the NCAA first round] for five years."

I mean it when I say Geno is one of 5 people that I want to pop in the fucking mouth. Not the head, not the chin, not the cheek but the fucking mouth so I bust up his teeth and his pretty little smile and leave him bleeding for a solid hour. Fuck him.  Maybe that cheap shot will help him wake the fuck up and he'll realize women's sports are an absolute joke. You might even say it's a travesty to allow it on our airwaves. I don't think I'm in the minority when I say I can watch women play sports and the entire time I'm thinking to myself about how I'd dominate out there. Don't give us some sob story about how the fans assume you're gonna win and they're spoiled. We simply don't give a shit. Hey asshole, the men are in the sweet 16 on Thursday night and they're going up against the #2 seed. You think that's a little more important than watching your scrub ass team wipe the floor with some hoes from Purdue? I think it might be. It'd be one thing if this was one comment from a random coach but this is Geno we're talking about and he's been acting like a smug dipshit for the past 15 years and I'm fucking sick of it. You want respect and notoriety? Coach a men's team. Even coach a boy's high school team or a boy's little league squad. Anything but girls sports. They're boring and that's the truth. They have about 1/8th of the athletic ability that the men do so you'll have to excuse me if I don't want to watch a watered down product. Would you send back your drink if a bartender gave you a coors light when you ordered a Sam Adams?  Would you start skipping over blogs if you found out some were written by Donahue and not by me? I rest my case.

Frank Martin Could Murder You Then Sleep Soundly The Next Night

You could come late to practice, tell him your mom died and he'd tell you to start running suicides for every year you disappointed her. Cold blooded.

Don't Blame The Guy. LT Doesn't Card Hookers.

During an interview after he was sentenced to six years' probation on Tuesday, Lawrence Taylor made no apologies for visiting a prostitute. Speaking to Shepard Smith on Fox, Taylor did say that he did not look for an underage girl. The victim in the case was 16 at the time of the incident last May. In January, he pleaded guilty to sexual misconduct and patronizing a prostitute to avoid jail time. "That's not my M.O. I've been around kids and people all my life," said Taylor, a former New York Giants Hall of Fame linebacker. "I'm not the cause of prostitution. And sometimes I make mistakes and I may go out there, but I didn't pick her up at no playground. She wasn't hiding behind the school bus or getting off a school bus. This is a working girl that came to my room. And I don't know what her age was. I asked her age. She told me she was 19. It is what it is." Taylor blamed the institution of prostitution for the fact that he ended up with an underage girl. "It's the world of prostitution," he said to Fox. "You never know what you're gonna get. Is it gonna be a pretty girl, an ugly girl or whatever it's gonna be." Or a young girl? Shepard asked. "You can only ask," Taylor said. "I don't card them. I don't ask for birth certificate."

Let's get this out of the way. Yes, I accidentally googled "Lawrence of Arabia" and was too lazy to change the picture so we're just going with it. Whatever. You've come to the wrong place if you think I'm gonna bash on LT. Nobody forced this girl to become a whore. LT didn't call up and order a 16 year old because he's some pedophile and he shouldn't have to worry about her age like a bar owner. Just like he said, he already has to worry about the girl being pretty or ugly, don't make him demand a birth certificate and walking papers. My only question is how do these girls become prostitutes? I mean how morally corrupt do you have to be in order to become a hooker or a stripper? And that includes porn stars because they're basically glorified whores except they're protected by law because they're deemed actresses or some bullshit. I don't get it. It's like Jay Bilas once said, "where have all the good girls gone?"

Is This The Greatest Profile Picture Ever?

Just the ghetto life of a blogger while he's on spring break. Inglewood, Inglewood always up to no good

Would You Go To Jail For Your Best Buddy?

SAN FRANCISCO — Greg Anderson, the personal trainer who has long stuck by his childhood friend Barry Bonds, indicated to a federal judge yet again Tuesday that he would not testify in Bonds’s perjury trial.

On Tuesday, Bonds pleaded not guilty to four counts of knowingly lying to a grand jury in 2003.

Anderson, who prosecutors say gave Bonds steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs, nodded when Judge Susan Illston of United States District Court asked him if he planned to refuse to testify in the trial, which begins March 21. “He’s nodding yes,” Anderson’s lawyer, Mark Geragos, said as Anderson stood silent next to him. “He’s taking the not testifying to the nth degree.” Some in the courtroom laughed at Geragos’s comment. But not Bonds, who sat hushed at the defense table. At times, he raised his eyebrows, which wrinkled his brow, and slowly rubbed his hands. But as the judge told Anderson she would jail him for the length of the trial — which is likely to last more than two weeks — Bonds barely flinched. On Tuesday, Bonds pleaded not guilty to four counts of knowingly lying to a grand jury in 2003 in connection with the Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative steroids case, and not guilty to one count of obstruction of justice. Anderson, who spent time in prison for steroids distribution, also spent more than a year in jail for refusing to testify to a grand jury investigating Bonds. 

Pretty simple question if you ask me and the answer is no. No way would I go to prison for my best friend. Absolutely not. I've seen Locked Up on MSNBC and I want no part in that. Nobody will be diddling about in my anus if I have anything to say about it. I'll take a bullet or a punch or get the shit beat out of me for my best friend but I'm not going to jail. You're in trouble by the law and you want me to help you out? Sorry. In the words of Colin Cowherd, "That's a you problem." I'd even die for my best friend because that means I don't have to suffer but going to pound town is a no fucking way for me. But you know Greg Anderson is coming out of this thing with a hefty paycheck from Bonds if he refuses to testify so that turns things up a notch. Barry probably told him if he sits on his ass in jail for a month then he'll come out $5 million bones richer. Would you go to jail for a month if it meant you would have $5 million sitting your bank account after? That's like asking if I'd rather have Donahue shit in my mouth everyday for a year or get stabbed once a day by my sworn enemy(so all of you) for the entire month of August and I had to go to the beach once a day so sand got in my cuts and I couldn't use Neosporin. Just a total lose-lose.


P.S. Doesn't Greg Anderson look like a guy who can get "things" done for you. 

The Rebecca Black Before Rebecca Black

Thanks a lot, Justin Bieber. See what you did? Now every motherfucker with a camera and voice thinks they can be the next teen superstar. Whatever. I don't use this word a lot because I think it's gross and I hate it but isn't this chick kind of a cunt? I mean is it really necessary to invite your friends over and brag about Miley Cyrus and Ashley Tisdale wearing your jeans? And isn't she wearing their jeans? One of her friends should slap her with the keyboard and tell her to wake the fuck up. I think in order to do this video justice, a classic live blog is a must.

-Let's pick up with the little bitches running into the Mini Cooper. First off, Jenna Rose on her license plate. Fine. British flag? Is that the car from Austin Powers?

-Oh, everybody in that car is also under 13 so that's something to think about when they inevitably crash into another lane and murder a family 5. Newborn Johnny was just coming home from the hospital, too. Gotta get those jeans by any means necessary, I guess.


-I seriously can't get over her dance moves. I thought I was the only person who did the rolling with the homies hand dance while in bed.

-Is it a mandatory to put a black rapper in your video if you're white teenager? Bieber had Luda, Rebecca Black had some random pimp and Jenna Rose has her next door neighbor who just happens to be colored and dresses like a black Charlie Sheen.

-"Abc, 123, That girl wore her jeans just like me. I bet she's mad 'cause I look fab, HAHAHAHAHA, jack my swag." I could totally see Drake putting that line in one of his songs and people going ape shit over it. He sucks. So does Wiz Khalifa. I'm sure they're great if you're a 15-20 year old girl but I'm a 21 year old guy and I have a brain.

-2:26 into the video and I have yet to see her wear a pair of jeans.

-Oh there we go. Those are the jeans she's singing about? What is this bedazzled bullshit? I thought only hispanic broads wore those.

-I think my heart is gonna explode when I put on my favorite pair of jeans before I go out on Friday.

P.S. Me and my friends hangout in my room and dance around like that too.

I May Or May Not Have Pulled a Dave Chapelle For The Last 5 Hours and Retired From Blogging Because I Was Too Good At It

I could tell what really happened and let you into my head or I could tell you my dick is so big that it crawled out of pants and clicked on the mouse when I scrolled over the delete blog button. Yeah, I like that version a lot better.

Does This Make Anybody Else Really Hard?

Cue all the motherfuckers who say I don't show UConn any love until they reach the Sweet 16. Do I really have to? It's like me telling you the Sox are going 162-0 this season or Mila Kunis is a babe. This is all common knowledge. Do you really need me to tell you Kemba is the best player in the country or that the run this team is on is fucking ridiculous? If so then Kemba Walker is the new school Jimmy Walker and this run the team is on is fairytale shit.

Is This Legal?

How old is Selena Gomez? I have a serious thing for the favorite wizard of waverly and I don't care if it gets me thrown in jail or in a fistfight with Bieber. Don't get me wrong, I have no beef with the Bieb. "Baby" is my shit, I could sing you every world but I'll throw the fuck down like Madison on Million Dollar Listing if it gets me the love of Gomez. But then there's still the age factor, you say? I might actually take a tip4tit and not ask how old she is. Use the Mark Sanchez defense of "well if she's in the bar and it's 21+ then she's gotta be 21, right?"

Taco Bell Price Increase Has Consequences

 (got a feeling this asian guy is having a bad couple weeks)

SAN ANTONIO -- Police say a San Antonio Taco Bell customer enraged that the seven burritos he ordered had gone up in price fired an air gun at an employee and later fired an assault rifle at officers before barricading himself into a hotel room. San Antonio police Sgt. Chris Benavides says officers used tear gas Sunday night to force the man from the hotel room after a three-hour standoff. The man is charged with three counts of attempted capital murder. Authorities have not released his name. Brian Tillerson, a manager at the Taco Bell/KFC restaurant, told the San Antonio Express-News that the man was angry the Beefy Crunch Burrito had gone from 99 cents to $1.49 each.

I get it. Nothing revs my engine quite like a fast food joint raising the prices without me knowing. It's like at McDonals when you order up 2 McDoubles and a sweet tea and they ask what size you want for the tea. I mean I brought $3.18 because I thought I would be spending that much. I carefully picked out 1 dime, a nickel and 3 pennies because that's what I expected and now you wanna throw a size order at me and demand an extra 22 cents? I don't think so. Not on my watch.  I'd start firing off my air gun if I had one, too.  And that's only for a extra 22 cents, imagine my reaction if they threw a half dollar increase at me like they did to this guy at Taco Bell.

I'm Over Syracuse Basketball Like It Was That Paper Football Game You'd Play In Study Hall

CLEVELAND — If one team were expected to make a late mistake last night, it was probably Marquette, which squeaked into the NCAA Tournament without a lot of experience. Instead, it was Syracuse freshman Dion Waiters who turned the ball over with a backcourt violation on an inbounds play with 52 seconds to go in a tie game, and unheralded Marquette that escaped with a stunning 66-62 victory to send the Orange home and advance to the Sweet 16. “We had a freshman take it out and it’s one of those things,” Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim That play led to Darius Johnson-Odom’s three-pointer with 27 seconds to go, which gave Marquette a 62-59 lead it never gave up. The Golden Eagles will face North Carolina in the East Region semifinals in Newark on Friday.said. “It was just a miscommunication. He should have waited a second to let [Scoop Jardine] get clear. But it was one play.” “We just had a little breakdown at the end,” said Rick Jackson, Syracuse’s lone senior. “They have good players and they made open shots.”

Fuck this team. Fuck 'em. Fuck Scoop Jardine, fuck Rick Jackson, fuck the 2-3 zone, fuck the freshman who inbounded the ball like a jackass.  You can say these games were bound to happen when you match Big East schools against each other but fuck that. Marquette wanted it more and Syracuse was way too cool with giving it away. I think what pisses me off the most is they just play dumb fucking basketball. Not closing out on shooters and not allowing the ball to go in the backcourt but instead try to toe the line and get a violation to turn the ball over. Those are middle school mistakes. I'd bet my dick every time if you told me Syracuse was down a basket and Scoop Jardine would sprint up the court to take a rushed 3 pointer and brick it off the back of the rim. He's done it like 5 times this season. I'm just sick of it. I need to flush this team out of my system like a bad piece of pizza.

There's Already Been 2 Episodes Of The Real World And I Haven't Live Blogged It? Shame On Me. You're So Lucky I'm On Jerry Springer This Week

Did I live blog New Orleans last season? I really don't remember. I know I live blogged D.C.  but maybe I did New Orleans? Was that the season where the girl used to get abused when she was younger and one of the guys went to rehab for a drug problem and another dude got thrown off because everybody hated him and he acted like a fucking faggot all season but he was actually straight and fueded with the real gay guy?. Oh. That's every season? Anyway, let's get after Vegas.


-7 new members. 2 black people, 1 Dominican broad with a boyfriend, 1 guy who was in juve(oohh scary!), a plain jane dude named Mike, one angel looking girl who I want to marry ASAP, and the southern gentleman with delicious abs(his backstory is insane). That about covers it.



-Heather says Dustin has swagger for a white boy. In other words, she used to bang black dudes like it was going out of style. Dustin says Heather is an angel. I agree 100%.

-Heather says she's only been in a relationship with 2 people and has only has sex with 2 people. Have I mentioned she's adorable? #PutARingOnIt

-Nani tells her boyfriend that it sucks she can't hook  up with the kid from juve. Here's a tip. There's about 100 other things you should tell your boyfriend and that's not one of them.

-Adam(juve kid) gets wicked hammered. Smashes a bottle, kicks a bouncer. Whatever.

-Heather says if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do a lot of things. OH REALLY?!?! I must've missed that the last 21 years of my life.

-Dustin and Heather are getting closer. I'm getting jealous.

-Adam gets pulled out of the room by the hotel security which is all a ploy for the cameras because I have a feeling that hotel security managers have bigger fish to fry when you work in Vegas.

-Mike confides in the black guy about his troubled past. Drug dealer parents, grandma had cancer, abusive father, blah, blah, blah. Impress me with something like you were a coke sniffing hooker in Somalia.

-Adam decides to drop $400 on red in roulette. I feel like that's the first thing you have to do when you hit a casino. Just go for blood.

-Everybody is still pissed at Adam for causing a ruckus in the club. Really? I'm pretty sure I'd be in jail within 2 hours of stepping in Vegas. I'd make what he did look like fucking recess in 3rd grade.

-Adam thinks telling Niki(is that her name?) about his juvenile past will get her in his pants because you know, every chick loves an idiot with no future.

-The roommates minus the guy with the awesome abs, take part in an innocent game of truth or dare because that's what you do when you're over 21 and in Las Vegas. Duh.

-Adam dares Mike to make out with Heather. Mike wants none of it like a good friend but Heather jumps on him thinking it won't be a big deal later. Big mistake. Huge.

-Dustin(awesome abs) is furious. I'd be too but then I remembered these people met each other 4 days ago. I mean come on, bro. Grow the fuck up.

-Mike and Dustin get into an argument about the kiss and he lets out the quote of the season. "YOU DON'T OWN HER!" then Dustin counters with a "if you I was in your shoes, I never would have thought about it" in his southern voice to which Mike comes back and ends with the fight with "It's all my fault. I kissed her and I liked it. PEACE."

-End of episode. Gonna be a long season.

Wise Words From a Wise Man.

And here I was sitting in my room and crying like a little bitch over my bracket until I read that status. I'm only mad about it because it hurts my ego to know some people are better at picking games. That's supposed to be my thing. I'm the man behind the golden keyboard with the cannon for a fucking arm. Here's another thought for your ass. How dumb would hats look if you cut off the rim? Did I just take my hat off and think of that? Yes, yes I did. And why does that even matter? Because of sick of seeing little bitches walk around with a fitted on but not completely on. Ya know what I mean? It's on backwards or forwards but it hangs off their head so they can let their hair come out the front. Like they're too fucking cool or lazy to care how the hat looks even though they probably spent 5 minutes in the mirror perfecting the look so the right amount of hair shows. It's bullshit and totally defeats the purpose of wearing a hat, which is to either cover your nasty head or block the sun from your face. Now apparently dudes are seeing who can look like the bigger douche bag but not me. If that makes me old school then so be it.

Tiger Has a New Blonde In His Life And It Aint Tapanga Lawrence. See What I Did There? Tapanga Was The Last Girl You Thought I'd Throw In This Title

TROUBLED golfer Tiger Woods is dating a 22-year-old Florida college student who is the daughter of a former major league baseball player and stepdaughter of a major sports-agency executive, according to reports. Woods, 35, and Alyse Lahti Johnston, a student at Ohio-based Northwood University, have been seeing each other for several weeks, according to reports on entertainment website RadarOnline and the Britain's Daily Mail. Johnston, whose biological father is former St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Jeff Lahti, was introduced to Woods by her stepfather, Alistair Johnston. Alistair Johnston is an executive at IMG, the agency that represents Woods. The news comes two days after it emerged Woods' ex-wife, Elin Nordegren, shelled out over $12 million for a mansion in North Palm Beach, 10 miles (16km) away from Woods' own sprawling digs.

Is Tiger that good looking of a dude?  I get that he's handsome and rich and a great athlete but he's not George Clooney or Beckham hot, right? I say that because I feel like you have to be on that level to start pulling 22 year old girls off the bench when you're a 35 year old single dad who's an admitted sex addict and had your sex scandal talked about and made fun of on every channel for 3 months. You might think I'm slapping Tiger's hand for this but I'm not. It's more like I'm pushing him against the wall and yelling at him to get his head out of his ass. This shit is weird. This girl doesn't even have her college degree yet. What happened to setting yourself some standards? And she looks like a poor man's version of Elin. That aint a good look for anybody especially when your kids start referring to her as the less attractive mommy.

Gus Johnson. #Winning

I'll watch ice dancing if you tell me Gus Johnson will be doing the telecast because you know things are always gonna get a little sticky. Has he ever called a boring game in the history of the NCAA Tournament? He's the type of guy you always want around to turn things up a notch. That's pretty much what Donahue does for a party. Like things will be fine but if you really want to see a different breed perform in his natural habitat then you call up donnaballs. He'll bring 3 random hoes you've never met before and end up hooking up with a 4th random who he just met, leaving the initial 3 girls he brought in a fit if anger. Bitches start throwing pennies and shit while they sit on the bathroom floor with tears in their eyes. No bullshit. That's a true story. I know this because I got hit with one of those pennies while I politely asked the girl to leave the room or I'd have to piss in her eye.

I Think Tips 4 Tits Episode 2 Is His Finest Work We've Seen.

Untouchable.

What a fucking week. First Beadle leaves me for Barnaby then Donahue's blog becomes the sweetest thing since sliced bread, leaving me in the shadows and now this little bitch decides to wear an absolutely dick smothering dress at an event for her 39 year old boxer boyfriend. I can't win and at this rate I never will. You win, universe.



P.S. I'm totally ignoring Sean Avery being benched, the demise of Rajon Rondo and the Celtics and the way my NCAA bracket looks right now. Don't even go there with me. Not this week. I'm 2 days away from reading don't kill myself books.

This Chatroulette From Last Year Seems To Be In Really Bad Taste Now. Guess We Know Why She Was Hiding...

This is what I call a "yikes" moment. But at the same time it makes me feel a little holy like I'm on the same page with the big man upstairs. I was totally calling natural disasters a year in advance and had no idea what I was doing. Makes me wonder what would happen if I actually start thinking before I speak.

What Day Is It?

Yeah I know this video is like a week old but I was holding on to it on purpose. IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GETTIN' DOWN ON FRIDAYYYYY. YESTERDAY WAS THURSDAY, THURSDAY, TODAY IS FRIDAY, FRIDAY, WE, WE, WE, SO EXCITEDD!



P.S. everybody is lookin forward to the weekend. Partyin, partyin, partyin, yeah!

March Madness Begins. St. Patricks Day. I Have a Midterm Tomorrow Morning. I Have To Take a Huge Shit Right Now But I Can't Find Sports Illustrated.This Is All You're Getting.

You probably think I was out all day and getting hammered? Well you're wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Yeah, I was being Irish just like I'm Irish everyday. That means simply not giving a fuck, being stubborn, having random fits of anger, never talking about my real emotions and being adorable. Now I have to go study for my Anthropology midterm tomorrow. That's something you won't ever read on Tips4Tits because, well, you have to be in school to take a midterm. Heyoooo

Tiger Talking Like Tiger Again

ORLANDO, Fla. -- Who's the best player in the world? If you ask Tiger Woods, it's a simple answer. "When I get my swing dialed in?," Woods said rhetorically in an interview with ESPN's Tom Rinaldi on Wednesday's "SportsCenter." When asked if he was referring to himself, Woods smiled and nodded. He has not won a tournament since the Australian Masters in November 2009, but told Rinaldi that he "absolutely" believes he will break Jack Nicklaus' record for major tournaments won. "That's the goal. That's always been the goal," Woods said. "From before I turned pro until now, that's the goal golf-wise."

I've said this forever. You have swag out the ass if you can respond to a question with a question of your own that makes everybody look down and feel dumb for approaching you. Like, "Rza, given Donahue's epic rise to the top of the blogging pyramid; is it time to pass the throne?" And then I simply look you doubters in the eyes and say, "Is a bird in the hand worth two in a bush?" Game, set, match. But is there anyone who doubts Tiger is gonna crush the Masters? I know I said that last year but I mean it this time. He seems to have his emotional edge back and that's huge for anybody. Last year he got shit on by everybody and he was taking names. This year he's carrying an ax in his golf bag and heads will roll. I'm doing the same thing. Tips4Tits, I'm coming for your ass.

Pour Some Liquor Out For Nate Dogg Today. R.I.P.

Singer Nate Dogg (Nathaniel Dwayne Hale), who came to fame in the 1990s after debuting on Dr. Dre’s The Chronic, died last night at the age of 41. The singer suffered a stroke in 2008. The cause of death has not yet been released. News of his death was first reported by the Long Beach, Calif. newspaper the Press Telegram, which confirmed the news with Nate’s family.

5 of my top 10 favorite songs wouldn't be the same without him. That's a fact. He's the Robert Horry of hip-hop. Didn't jump off the page at you but you can't imagine a championship without his effort. 

Wait. What?

1000 hits is great. I mean we call that a 3 day run over here but that's beside the point. People seriously like that blog? They're not offended in the slightest? I have a dirtier mouth than most but even I leave feeling like I have to shower whenever I read his tips. And why doesn't anybody tell me I'm great? I've been in the game for 2 years and my celebrity status hasn't gone up a tad then this kid jumps in the ring and suddenly he's the second coming of Wiz Khalifa. Just making dudes bow in his presence and bitches moist in the crotch region. I don't get it. Do I want some notoriety? You're motherfucking right. Need that shit like everybody else but here's what I really want. I want people to laugh as they see me coming and I want them to weep as I walk away. That's the dream.

Is This Song Real?

Heard it on the radio today and I thought it was a joke. When did Bruno Mars become big enough that he can put out piece of shit songs and everything is still gravy? When did he ever put out a good song? This is bullshit. Maybe it would have been better if he dedicated it to me because this is my life 24/7. I haven't combed my hair since I was 8. I very rarely pick up the phone. Kicking my feet up and sticking my hand on my balls isn't a "lazy day" for me, that's an every fucking day. The only I'm not so sure about is walking around house naked. I'll tell what I like to do instead when I have the house to myself. Take shits with the door open. Ya. However, not so cool when you forget you told one of your friends to stop by and they see that.

Does Anybody Have a Bracket That Looks Like This Or Is It Just Me?

Has the Tiger ever had such a strong run up to the tournament before? It's Kemba Walker-esque. You got Tigerblood running rampant and Tiger Woods quickly finding his form just weeks before the Masters. I don't know how anybody can compete with that. What I don't understand is how the keyboard cat only earned a 11 seed. That's bullshit. Uhh have you ever seen a cat play piano? It's delightful. And how the fuck is Cujo coming into this thing at 16? Have you seen that movie? I love black labs more than God but even I'd pick Cujo to tear through this tourny like a black on white rape scene. All this doesn't matter though because I got a piece of the pie in this race. Ya, #6 Maine Coon A.K.A my cat Brady. Young man can open some doors by himself and has a bit of a dark side that makes him piss on the carpet whenever the fuck he feels like. One day all he wants to do is cuddle and the next he's taking a shit in your sneakers. If that's not an unpredictable and unstoppable force then I don't know what is.

I Just Puked All Over My Desk.

This is why I hate Kesha and I hate her with a passion. If you're gonna sing or rap or whatever the fuck does about partying, being a slut and hooking up with guys then you have to match the image. Don't be a tubby goon on the beach with your granny panties and flaunting your Dirk Nowitzki face all over town like you're hot shit 'cause you're not. You're gross. Stop relaxing in the sand and get your fat ass in the gym. Your 15 minutes of fame are almost over.

Well There Goes My Entire Spring...

Michelle Beadle is off the market. The ESPN SportsNation co-host confirmed with The Big Lead that she’s dating hockey analyst Matthew Barnaby. The couple have been dating for six months now and they informed ESPN last Fall. An anonymous reader in Buffalo tipped the blog off as both Beadle and Barnaby tweeted they were in town for a youth hockey tournament. Beadle pointed out that a few other readers who follow both of them on twitter noticed the connection as well. Congrats to Beadle and Barnaby for keeping it a secret this long.

I like Matthew Barnaby. I like him a lot, he was my kind of hockey player. Just a total grinder who would get it in your head and wasn't afraid to throw down with the goones. Like a poor man's Sean Avery. Having said all that, fuck him. Fuck him with an AIDS dick. You want to take my girl out then be my guest because we all know I can't compete with a hockey player. Chicks get wet for those guys. My real gripe with Barnanby involves his wife that he totally ditched on the side of the road once Beadle joined the company. He was married a year ago and he's been officially dating Beadle for 6 months which means they've been boning for about 14 and keeping it hush. 8 months of dishonesty and turning your back on your family.  I don't like that sleezy behavior. And if you do then maybe Tips4Tits is the blog for you but it makes want to take a hockey stick, shove it up his ass and slice him open from the waist up to his neck.




P.S. Michelle, call me. We need to talk. I know my blogging career took off but it doesn't mean I forgot about SportsNation. There's still hope for us once Barnaby is dead.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

This feels like a heavyweight prize fight and Donahue just got himself off the ropes and hit her with a jab-jab-hook combo that shook the world. And I'm the guy in a dance off who stands behind the crowd and shouts things like, "What else you got?!?!" until somebody leaves severely injured.

Former Blogger Takes Mardi Gras By Storm

You know what they say. Nothing like getting your dick blown off by two faced painted dudes at Mardi Gras!

The Ultimate Bully Killer

I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure that little kid broke his leg. This is exactly why you don't pick on fat dudes. One second they're calm, cool and collected and the next they're body slamming your midget ass into the concrete and walking away like it was Sunday mass.

Like Lexington and Concord...

Shots fired! That was 10 hours ago. How is there no response from Donahue on that? This has all the makings for a blog war and he's letting this self righteous little bitch stomp all over him like he's Poland or something. And you know she meant it when she used the word "douche." Those are Supreme Court fighting words. I just hope people don't think I'm associated with that blog because my picture is used on it. If she's actually calling me the douche then we have some issues. I won't blog war you. I'll sue that ass.

Let's Analyze The NCAA Tournament Bracket!

These 2 hour Bracketology specials are bullshit. It's for the birds. They all sit around a table and use this fake emotion to have arguments about teams that nobody cares about. Oh, Colorado got snubbed? Boo fucking hoo. I don't care. I walked into my bedroom door this morning and slammed my knee but you didn't see me blogging or tweeting about it until now. Japan is shaking off the face of the planet and you want me to get interested in a debate about UAB getting into the tournament and not Virginia Tech? I'd rather hav you lick my ass. Here's the terrific insight I just received from ESPN. There will be some upsets, some teams play defense better than some teams play offense which causes some match up problems.  Really? I could have put the retarded kid who dates Janelle from Teen Mom 2 on stage and had better results. Oh, that kid isn't retarded? He's just a lazy black dude who smokes weed all day? Same thing, right?