The Rebecca Black Before Rebecca Black

Thanks a lot, Justin Bieber. See what you did? Now every motherfucker with a camera and voice thinks they can be the next teen superstar. Whatever. I don't use this word a lot because I think it's gross and I hate it but isn't this chick kind of a cunt? I mean is it really necessary to invite your friends over and brag about Miley Cyrus and Ashley Tisdale wearing your jeans? And isn't she wearing their jeans? One of her friends should slap her with the keyboard and tell her to wake the fuck up. I think in order to do this video justice, a classic live blog is a must.

-Let's pick up with the little bitches running into the Mini Cooper. First off, Jenna Rose on her license plate. Fine. British flag? Is that the car from Austin Powers?

-Oh, everybody in that car is also under 13 so that's something to think about when they inevitably crash into another lane and murder a family 5. Newborn Johnny was just coming home from the hospital, too. Gotta get those jeans by any means necessary, I guess.


-I seriously can't get over her dance moves. I thought I was the only person who did the rolling with the homies hand dance while in bed.

-Is it a mandatory to put a black rapper in your video if you're white teenager? Bieber had Luda, Rebecca Black had some random pimp and Jenna Rose has her next door neighbor who just happens to be colored and dresses like a black Charlie Sheen.

-"Abc, 123, That girl wore her jeans just like me. I bet she's mad 'cause I look fab, HAHAHAHAHA, jack my swag." I could totally see Drake putting that line in one of his songs and people going ape shit over it. He sucks. So does Wiz Khalifa. I'm sure they're great if you're a 15-20 year old girl but I'm a 21 year old guy and I have a brain.

-2:26 into the video and I have yet to see her wear a pair of jeans.

-Oh there we go. Those are the jeans she's singing about? What is this bedazzled bullshit? I thought only hispanic broads wore those.

-I think my heart is gonna explode when I put on my favorite pair of jeans before I go out on Friday.

P.S. Me and my friends hangout in my room and dance around like that too.