The Eye Of The Tiger Is Back

I know that look. That's the look he gives when he's eyeing out a 6000 yard drive right down the pipe. It's the look he gives right before he sinks the birdie to win it on #18. It's also the look he gives when he's poaching for slutty white girls. He's motherfucking back.

 I know, I know. Shhhhhhhh

Don't like the name. Don't like the logo. Too cartoonish. Love the colors but they'll never fly in the NHL because Vancouver jacked our uniforms.

I Told You It Wouldn't End Well

 

No lie. Nate Robinson and Paul Pierce's tweets from training camp might be the most entertaining shit on the web right now.

 

In Case You Didn't Hate Lebron James, Now You Do

HURLBURT FIELD, Fla. -- LeBron James and his manager say they believe race played a factor in how the two-time reigning NBA MVP's decision to join the Miami Heat was covered this summer. Neither James nor his manager, Maverick Carter, cited specifics when talking to CNN for a story that aired Wednesday night. James did not want to spend much time on the subject after Thursday's Heat practice. "I think people are looking too far into it," James said. "But at the same time, sometimes it does play a part in it. I've said what I had to say, and I'll continue to move on." pondent Soledad O'Brien asked about "The Decision," the one-hour special on ESPN in which James announced that he would play for the Heat, and some of the negative headlines it generated. "It's just about control and not doing it the way it's always been done or not looking the way that it always looks," Carter said. O'Brien asked if race played a role. "I think so at times," James said. "It's always, you know, a race factor." Said Carter: "It definitely played a role in some of the stuff coming out of the media, things that were written for sure."

This might sound crazy but Lebron James might be a bit of a moron.  I mean did he really pull the race card on us? Really? Did Jesse Jackson or Johnny Cochran become his agent and manager over night or something? I don't hate Lebron because he's black and I'm sure nobody hates the guy only because he's black. First he was an egotistical asshole who shit on his hometown in front of a national audience but now he's all of that plus an idiot. They used to talk about how mature and smart Lebron was but really? He's hated because he's black? Like 90% of the rest of the league? Do people hate Kevin Durant? Last time I checked he was pretty black, too. It's like that episode of Entourage when E's client gets fired from the show so he asks Ari what to do and he says if all else fails, pull the race card. So E calls the race card and Ari is shocked and because nobody could ever be that stupid and desperate to pull the race card. Well. Lebron James is in fact that stupid. Get over yourself. You're not that important.

This Is Who I'm Rooting For Now

It's no secret I'm a San Fran fan. It's that homosexual population that pulls me in or something. Always liked the Giants. I'm pretty sure I've picked them every year to come out of the National League to play the Sox in the World Series every year. That would be my dream match up. Everyone talks about a Cubs/Boston series but San Fran/Boston would be dope as fuck. 2 best stadiums in the league in my opinion. the Giants are a likeable bunch of guys with the exception of their closer who's a bigger tool than Donahue. This really has nothing to do with anything but isn't kind of crazy how Barry Bonds has been pretty much erased from baseball? His records and shit still stand but you never hear anybody talk about him or the 2001 season when he clubbed like 90 dingers while on the juice. Same with Marvin Harrison and Allen Iverson. But back to the Giants. Sandoval is a dude. Buster Posey might be the best young catcher in the game. Freddy Sanchez and Renteria are bother former Sox players and I've never heard anyone say a rude thing about Tim Lincecum or Matt Caine. Go Giants.

Red Sox Are Officially Dead

I hardly knew ya. I mean I never really got attached to the 2010 version of the Sox because it never felt like real love. We had a good run in July when were like 3 games back but it was just a tease. That's all the Sox were this year. A motherfucking tease. They showed what they could be but they never let you take them home and make a honest woman out of. And honestly when Youk went down, I pretty much checked out for the season. I aint missing them at all.

I Want Beckham Hair.

WHOA. That's what you call bringing the heat. Just all up in your face with it. I don't care how gay this makes me.

This Can't End Well

2nd From The Left, Call Me.

Fucking Ty Blake, man. Ty fucking Blake. This Buds for you.

Sean Avery Says Sean Avery Is a Superstar

"You guys saw it," Avery said. "That [stuff] doesn't bother me. Nobody should be suspended for anything they say." Avery started influencing the night in the second, when he suckered David Clarkson into dropping his gloves, while keeping his on. Avery, however, was the one penalized, and en route to the box, turned and went after Kovalchuk. That added a misconduct to his punishment.  "They specifically told me I got it because he's a superstar and I can't go after a superstar," Avery said. "I told [ref Paul Devorski] I make $4 million. I'm a superstar, too."

I love it. He takes the high road by not saying anything about the gesture but then gets his digs in by saying Kovalchuk is pretty much a pampered bitch who gets star treatment from the league. That my friends is how it is fucking done. As for Sean Avery thinking he's a superstar? I never said he was the smartest guy alive.

This Blog Is Gonna Be 21+ Once The Clock Hits 12:00 AM

And now you're asking yourself, "What does Connor OJTheJuiceManWellington Rusinko VII turning 21 have to do with those 2 above photos?" Well. Nothing. I just thought it was pretty fucking cool how similar they were. But make no mistake about it, I am still Kanye West in that scenario and every future scenario. That's why we're both smiling. Duh.

Elmo Don't Play No Games

WINTER PARK, Fla. -- Elmo was not tickled - he was in a tussle. Police in central Florida say a man dressed as the "Sesame Street" character was attacked Saturday at a music store in Winter Park, but he was able to fend off the attacker. The fight broke out around 3 p.m. The costumed man had been hired to perform as Elmo at a children's event at Guitar Center, but police say the attacker began throwing punches at Elmo. The performer fought back, even breaking a few fingers on his attacker's hand. Police haven't released the names of either man. Officers broke up the fight and took the attacker to the hospital, where he was treated and detained for a mental health evaluation. Police say Elmo was unhurt, and that no children saw the fight.

Every once in awhile you come across somebody you shouldn't have fucked with and today that man is Elmo.  In the attackers defense I can kinda see why you'd wanna punch the shit out of Elmo. He can play this cute, tickle me role all he wants but you can't ignore the ego on that cat. It's always "Elmo wants this, Elmo says that, Elmo, Elmo, Elmo." I mean think of the fans for once in your life, bro. Like hey, what does little baby rza want? He wants some fucking chocolate milk, that's he wants but you're too busy getting your god damn tummy tickled by some overweight 20 year chick who probably blows lines off Oscar's trash can during commercial break. He's just rude and he deserves to be cold cocked in a record store. Grow up, dude. You and Peter Pan need a reality check.

Say It To His Face, Bro!

Apparently there's some prostitute scandal going on with David Beckham? I don't know how I missed it but does Becks really need to get prostitutes? Pretty sure that guy could bang Obama if he wanted too. Regardless, what kind of fan yells that at their own player? And then you turtle like a little bitch? It won't go down like that if I ever get a shot at Lebron James and he's a tad bigger than Becks.

Sean Avery Doesn't Believe In Preseason.

This is exactly what the Devils do not want to see this season: Ilya Kovalchuk scuffling and yapping with Sean Avery. But that's what took place in Saturday night's preseason game at the Prudential Center. "We should be better than that," Kovalchuk said after the Rangers won the game, 5-4, with a power play goal from Michael del Zotto 52 seconds in overtime. "We can't get into their game. We all know he's (Avery) going to do that." Worse, the Devils hope the NHL will not mistake Kovalchuk's gesture toward Avery midway through the third period. The two were on their respective benches when Kovalchuk made a gesture to "zip it." He hopes it didn't look like a threat to Avery. "I just told him to zip it," Kovalchuk said. "I didn't tell him I'd kill him, so don't suspend me." Does he think the league will look at it? I don't know. Maybe," Kovalchuk said. Late in the third Avery chopped Kovalchuk on the hand. There was no penalty call. "Part of the game. Nothing special," said Kovalchuk, clearly unhurt. Kovalchuk, who had a goal and an assist in the game, was a little angry at himself. Avery ran Brian Rolston into the end boards at 2:18 of the second period. When David Clarkson dropped his gloves to fight, Avery wouldn't do the same. Avery skated away and confronted Kovalchuk, who got a punch in before Avery turtled. "You know him. That's his game," Kovalchuk said of Avery's yapping and chippy style. "He did a good job. They had nothing going their way and they got some energy."

Sounds like Avery is in mid-season form. They make a big deal that Avery doesn't fight Clarkson but why would he? He's a scrub. Instead he pisses off the golden boy Kovalchuk and sends them both to the penalty box. Well played, sir. Well played. Especially when he's already whooped Kovalchuk's ass in the past.

Weekend Time. Go Do Hoodrat Things With Your Friends

This is why I'm against giving money to our urban housing projects.

This Is Why I Love Kevin Durant

Wow. Breath of fresh air. You know if people said Lebron James was on MJ's level after he reached the NBA Finals for the first time he would have come up with this some slogan bullshit. Maybe create a T-Shirts that says "Witness" as if we're watching the second coming of Christ come down. Ohhhh. Wait. That happened.

Stern Tells Arenas To Keep It DL on His Guns. (That Makes No Sense)

NBA commissioner David Stern has told Gilbert Arenas and the Washington Wizards not to talk about Arenas' locker-room gun incident from now on. Stern spoke Tuesday with Arenas, telling him he's excited to have him back in the league after Arenas served a 50-game suspension for bringing guns into the Wizards' locker room last December. But he also advised Arenas, who has a reputation for speaking his mind, not to talk about the incident, The Washington Post first reported. Stern also told Wizards owner Ted Leonsis that the team should not discuss the incident, either. "It's time to move on, rather than obsess about the past," Stern said Wednesday, according to the Post. Arenas has not spoken publicly since he was sentenced in March to one month in a halfway house and two years of probation after pleading guilty to felony gun possession.

Might be a little known fact but I'm a huge Gilbert Arenas fan. I don't know why. I think he's just a goofy guy who loves to play basketball and  get under people's skin. Like this gun incident was a big deal and it kind of destroyed his entire team but in long run it'll be one of those things you laugh about around a 12 pack of bud heavy. That's Budweiser. Not Bud Light. I'm a grown man now so it's time to up our standards. It's really not that big of a deal when you think about it. The fellas were on a plane playing cards, some scrub got pissed off and threatened Arenas with a gun so the next day Arenas calls his bluff and puts a bag of guns on his chair and says "choose one." HILARIOUS. Did anybody actually think Gilbert Arenas was capable of killing someone? So he brought some guns into the stadium. They're not on the streets of DC, right? It's bad enough we got a brotha in office. Whoa. I'm stopping there.

Almost!

Man I hate when my long board tries to run away from me! down boy! down!

Skateboarding Added To P.E. Class. What's Next? Rugby? Frisbee? Oh Wait..

When Bill Ewe, a physical education teacher in suburban New Jersey, approached the principal at the middle school where he works about adding skateboarding to the curriculum, "he looked at me like I was a little crazy," Ewe said. But Ewe, a longtime skater who played college baseball, showed his bosses a news clip demonstrating how a skateboarding program had been successfully integrated into gym classes at a California high school. Soon district officials approved Ewe's proposal, and last spring students at Kingsway Middle School outside Philadelphia began pushing and kickflipping for credit. "The kids had a blast," Ewe said about a system that emphasizes balance, agility, coordination, self-esteem and perseverance over trying to become the next pro. "A 42-minute class period was gone like that."

And this is exactly why I never gave a fuck in gym class. Yeah, I said gym class. I don't need some physical education class to break up my breakfast. You'd have your typical JV kid or volleyball player trying to run shit in basketball and for what reason? To show you're better than me? Sorry, bro. I got a real game later on the varsity level that I need all my strengths for. Ya know, that real games people care about. Have your fun playing pocket pool in the minor leagues and look for my name in the paper tomorrow morning next to assists and tapping ass on friday night. But most of the time that class didn't even involve real sports. I mean Dave Keepin, bless his little heart but he'd come up with some mat ball bullshit and that was pretty much indoor kick ball but refused to recognize it as such. And if you're team was beating his? RULE CHANGE! Fuck that. He's lucky I didn't pop him in the balls every time I took the mound 'cause lord knows I could throw a heater wherever the fuck I choose. Didn't they come out with quidditch senior year too? You know Jordon Brault totally wet his pants when he heard about that. So whatever. Skateboard, rugby, frisbee. Add it to the list of games that were created to make all the non-athletes feel good about themselves.

P.S. If Life Of Ryan still on TV? Or did World of Jenks take away his time spot? You know MTV can't have two shoes that involve a monotone narrator.

Double P.S. Ronde Barber is still playing football. Crazy, right? I just read that in Sports Illustrated while taking a shit. 

Durica Saw Precious Get Married And Lived To Tell About It

Which person doesn't fit in the picture? I know. The chick in the blue dress. Get out of the way bitch, you're ruining the whole black/bronze scheme. But seriously, you think anybody got any appetizers at that reception with precious on the invite list? Doubt it. I'm shocked Durica is still living. Big chocolate might have tried to chomp his fingers off if she wasn't satisfied with the spread. And that's exactly why I always pack an extra Snickers or Baby Ruth bar in my pocket. Yeah, people think it's creepy that I carry candy like I'm a child molester or something but I've fucking seen The Goonies. I know what happens when you get a disenchanted goon in your path.


P.S. I pray he isn't dating that black chick because he's one dude that can kick the shit out of me enough that I may never blog again. 

The Scariest Party Ever.

Yikes. That's shallow, unattractive, disgusting. I'm mortified and stupefied. It's lewd, salacious, outrageous.

Fuck Today.

New England Patriots running back Kevin Faulk has a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee, the Boston Globe reported on Tuesday. It is an injury that usually means the end to a player's season, though the Patriots have not yet placed Faulk on injured reserve. "They're still working on it. I think part of it is how things come around in the next day or so," Patriots coach Bill Belichick said on a conference call with reporters Tuesday, when asked about Faulk's injury. "We'll see how things go in the next day or so and based on how that is, then make a decision at that point."

Kevin Faulk was that safety blanket. That sure thing late night booty call. You try to get younger at running back, wanna test drive the new meat and if it doesn't work out then you can always call up the old reliable bitch for a little joy ride. Well now what happens when we trade away our young stallion and our miss automatic is on the shelf for the season? We're just drunk, lonely and horny. Gonna be a long season. I miss when people were afraid of us.

Breaking News Indeed!

PHILADELPHIA -- Eagles coach Andy Reid says Michael Vick will be the team's starting quarterback. Reid made the decision Tuesday, a day after saying Kevin Kolb would start Sunday at Jacksonville. Kolb missed the last six quarters because of a concussion, and Vick played well in his absence.

A great day for Bad Newz Kennelz and cats everywhere. 


P.S. That dog totally has "oh shit" written all over his face.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Two of Braylon Edwards' teammates were with him when he was pulled over and -- to his surprise -- arrested for driving while intoxicated early Tuesday morning. The New York Jets wide receiver appeared in court Tuesday in ripped jeans, wearing a black T-shirt with the words "One Love" on the front and angel's on the back to answer the DUI charges. Police documents, parts of which were read aloud during the hearing at the Manhattan Criminal Courts Building, revealed that he didn't understand why he was pulled over.  "Why was I stopped for tints when my driving didn't lead you to believe I was drunk driving?" Edwards said, according to the report of the arresting officer, Armando Urbina. Officers on the lookout for vehicle violations like excessive tinting or missing registration stickers pulled over Edwards' white Land Rover on Manhattan's West Side at 4:47 a.m. ET and noticed a strong smell of alcohol and that he had bloodshot, watery eyes, the police report states. "I had a couple of drinks," Edwards said to the officer, according to the police report. There were four other people in the car with Edwards at the time, and the Jets confirmed that two of them were his teammates -- left tackle D'Brickashaw Ferguson and defensive end Vernon Gholston. According to the arrest report, the officer asked Edwards when he had his last drink. "About an hour ago," Edwards responded. Urbina asked Edwards if he was familiar with a breathalyzer. He responded that he was but asked why he would not undergo a field sobriety test like in Michigan, where he went to college. The officer said that was not procedure in New York. Edwards said to Urbina: "How about I just leave the car and take a cab and go home?" But the wide receiver did undergo the breathalyzer exam and blew .15 twice and was arrested. 

This story gets better and better but I'm just wondering when we can stop giving a fuck about Braylon Edwards? I thought for a solid 5 minutes before I posted this and couldn't think of another athlete who has a big name and for no reason.  What I'm saying is this dude sucks and when he's in the news, it's always mandatory reporting on ESPN. I'm not being a bitter Pats fan when I say Edwards is a bum. You only have to look at his career stats to find that out. On top of it all, he's an asshole. You get a DUI once and I'll let it slide but if you have millions of dollars, are in NYC where there are 10 cabs within 10 feet of you and have treated everybody like a piece of shit throughout your career then it's time to go. Braylon Edwards must die. "How about I just leave the car and take a cab and go home?" Yeah, maybe if you're Wes Welker bro but you're a mediocre wide receiver who has a rap sheet as long as Don DonkeyDong Donahue's dick.

Just Ed Hochuli Being Ed Hochuli

This Is Why I Don't Hate On Tom Brady's Hair

They say longer hair is so in these days. So is plaid. Oh, and bow ties. And last time I checked being adorable never went out of fashion. I guess that's why I'm still rocking it. So ahead of my time. How does my 3 year old ass taste? 

Keri Russell Struttin That Ass

People often ask "Rza, what's your ideal girl? I'd like to hook you up with my sister/wife/mother/girlfriend." You  might think it's the petite blonde look. Nope. It's this. Keri Russell. As Pauly D says, "she's the type of girl you wanna do nice things for."

I Thought Sean Avery Was On The Trading Block and Not Taking Hockey Seriously?

Sean Avery scored twice for White to give him three goals in two scrimmages, albeit two have been empty-netters, as White, with Henrik Lundqvist in net, improved to 2-0 during training camp. As was the case yesterday, the afternoon session featured much more intensity and a better pace than the 9 a.m. game. Avery banged in a rebound against Scott Stajcer to make it 1-0 in the first of the two periods, then later stayed on the ice after taking a hard pass off his instep.

Just another example of what happens when you try to knock us down. We come back throwing 7 different kinds of smoke.

More "Anonymous" Rugby Players Being Rugby Players

I don't know. Looks like an excuse for guy on guy love. Kinda crazy they had time to play a game with all that three-a-day practice requirement. I'm like 20% joking and 80% still pissed off about that anonymous comment.

Hartford Whalers Are Back. Sort Of.

Howard Baldwin has finally gotten his wish. A deal allowing Baldwin and Whalers Sports & Entertainment to assume control of the business operations of Hartford's American Hockey League franchise was reached Sunday, according to sources close to the negotiations. The name of the team will be changed from the Hartford Wolf Pack, but not to the Connecticut Whalers as many had expected. The New York Rangers' top affiliate will be known as the Connecticut Whale. "Based on internal discussions and significant feedback from both Whalers fans and Wolf Pack fans, we've chosen a name that touches on our past but also signifies this new era in Hartford hockey," one source close to Baldwin said. "Fans have always referred to the Hartford Whalers as the 'The Whale,' so it's a very familiar name."

The Hartford Whale? You might be shocked to hear this but I fucking hate that name. It's dumb as shit.  The Whale? Is there only one player on the team? Are you saying Hartford is full of fat chicks? Because in reality it's filled with black and hispanic people, other wise known as "convicts." Wolf Pack was just such a simple thing. The Pack. That's a team name. It wasn't the Hartford Wolf. Wolves run in a packs and work together. What do Whales do? I know what Whalers do but what the fuck is so great about being a whale? It's pretty much pissing in the wound of every fan who is still distraught over the Whalers moving to Carolina. It's like when a dude gets dumped by a hot blonde, he then attacks a brunette as a rebound to totally get over the girl which is great but in the end you're always left thinking about the blonde. The one you really love, the one who got away. This situation is no different.

Fuck The Jets.

No excuses. We got beat in every part of the game. Sanchez outplayed Brady. Let's go eat a Goddamn snack.

Fucking Togs.

NEW BRITAIN, Conn. -- Central Connecticut State University officials said a man was arrested after invading the dorm rooms of female students. School officials said Chlevera Trimmer walked into several unlocked dorm rooms in James Hall while the female residents were sleeping early Thursday morning.Officials said 14 students were affected.School officials said Trimmer is not a student at the school, and that he had been staying with a friend who lives in James Hall.Several of the students were awoken by Trimmer and reported his presence to the RA, who then notified CCSU police.Trimmer was arrested on charges of criminal mischief and burglary and one count of sex assault in the fourth degree.

Coincidence that Togs lives in the James Hall dorms as well? I think not.  Nice alias too, bro. Chlevera Trimmer? Sounds like an instrument you would use to give your ball sack a haircut. You dirty, dirty man. Lock him up and save our children!

This Is Why The Mets Were Always Destined for Failure

Bitch.

Hayden Panettiere was photographed cheering at the Wladimir Klitschko vs. Samuel Peter Fight in Frankfurt, Germany yesterday. Hayden's dad also supported the fight. The former Heroes hottie just turned legal last month and celebrated her 21st birthday.

Whatever. He's like fucking 40 years old and is fighting in a weight class that has a bunch of scrubs in it. If you wanna impress me then you gotta drop a few lbs. and go at it with the real tough guys in the middleweight division. I have Ukranian blood in me too, ya know? But every time I've gotten into a fight or scuffle my main bitch of the hour wants nothing to do with me. What was it that the late great Oscar Wilde said about females? Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks? Something like that. Truer words have never been spoken.

Revis Is Going To Get Torched. TORCHED.

Revis dominated Moss in both meetings last season, prompting the New England Patriots' wide receiver to remark Tuesday that he "prided [his] offseason on staying off Revis Island." When Revis heard that comment, he smiled, taking it as a psychological victory. "Obviously, if he's speaking that ... I'm sure it was on his mind in the offseason," the Jets' star cornerback said Wednesday. Moss apparently is fired up for the meeting. In an ESPN SportsCenter interview Tuesday, he said, "We're coming to the Meadowlands on Sunday, man, so you got 60 minutes of this 'Slouch.'" The rivalry has made a 180-degree turn. A year ago, it was Revis who felt disrespected. Now Moss is doing the chirping, issuing a challenge. "I guess that's what he's been worrying about all offseason, staying off Revis Island," Revis said. "I'm sure he's going to come well-prepared Sunday, and I'm sure he's going to have some tricks up his sleeve."

I know 6 people in this world that you don't piss off so much that they then become motivated. General Douglas Macarthur, Sean Avery, The Situation, Kobe Bryant, myself and Randy Moss. I mean who the fuck is Revis kidding with this "psychological victory" bullshit? Moss is more pissed off than the time somebody pissed in his Wheaties. Yeah Revis only had 3 TD's against him last year but you know who had one of them? Randy Moss, the best down field receiver in the history of the NFL.  Something tells me Moss is going to have a HUGE game. I'm talking 100 yards, 12 catches and 1 touchdown and the Pats hang 28 points. I actually hope they focus all the energy on Moss because then it opens up the passing game for Welker, Edelman, Tate and the 2 best rookie TE's in the game.

Am I The Only One Who is Excited About Another Possible Michael Vick Era?

Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Kevin Kolb and linebacker Stewart Bradley did not pass concussion testing Wednesday. Coach Andy Reid, however, said both players have "made progress" since Monday. Reid said quarterback Michael Vick will run the offense in practice Wednesday and Thursday and "we'll take Friday as it comes."  Reid had said Monday that both Kolb and Bradley would not practice before Friday. However, Reid did not rule out either player for Sunday's game at Detroit. Bradley sustained a concussion when he collided with Ernie Sims during Philadelphia's 27-20 loss to Green Bay on Sunday. Yet somehow, the Eagles' middle linebacker returned for a few plays before he was pulled for the rest of the game.

Concussions are no joke and I've never been so excited to another player go down than I was when Kevin Kolb took that digger on Sunday. Nothing against the guy but he kind of took the keys to McNabb's car, didn't say thanks, ran it into a pole and acted like he was the big man on campus so fuck him. Nobody disrespects Disco Donny and lives to tell about it. And unlike most of the public, I like Vick. Always have, always will. I even used to rock the old school Falcons jersey when he first came out of Va. Tech. Dude changed the game as far as black quarterbacking goes. Yes, I said black quarterbacking. Little more reckless and lazy on reading the blitzes, does their own thing and says fuck the man.

Owen Wilson Don't Give a F About Nothin!

I'm not golf expert but I thought this type of shit was status quo as far as etiquette goes. Or par for the course as they say. I mean if they frown upon this then I don't ever wanna step foot on a golf course. Have you seen me when I'm losing 9-2 in ping pong or just walked 2 batters in wiffle ball?  It aint pretty, I promise you that. I've said some terrible things about some terrific people.

Goosebumps.

Sunday cannot come soon enough.

Nothing From Me Today.

I can't do it. We'll live blog Jersey Shore tomorrow. FUCK IT. WE'LL DO IT LIVE. I'LL WRITE THE BLOGS AND WE'LL DO IT LIVE. MY FUCKING BLOG SUCKS.

So Thats What It Means To "Play Like a Fucking Jet"?

Sanchez goes 10-21 on 74 yards? Jets had 176 yards of total offense? Play like a Jet? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. They better get ready cause unlike the Ravens, Tom Brady and the boys know how to throw the football.

This Is How You Start a Season 0-5-1

Save that child! Cover his eyes! #8 is a total bitch. Trust me.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Cutler, Like that Nike pull over? It's nice, right? Well I got the same thing. Except I bought mine back in the fall of 2008. Oh and Kristen from The Hills probably has herpes/chlamydia. HOW DOES MY ASS TASTE?

I've Been Saying It All Along. Tiger Woods Is Just a Dude.

Tiger was watching a friend hit balls and when they hit a good one Tiger said: ‘F*ck yeah' to cheer them on," an eyewitness told RadarOnline.com exclusively. "Every time someone hit a ball he used "mother (bleeper)" and "f*ck" while talking about the shots," the source said. The driving range was crowded that day and his profanities were overheard by many of the golfers. At one point, Tiger decided to show off his son's golf skills and called out "Charlie, come here," and gave his son a tiny club. And it looks like Charlie has his dad's good golfing genes because the little guy, who is only a year and a half old, hit the ball pretty well! Filled with pride, Tiger said: "Not bad for a little sh*t," And even though he clearly meant it out of love the people around him thought it was disgusting. His 3-year-old daughter Sam was also in earshot.

Oh fuck yeah.  Listen, I never said Tiger was a good father or husband but that doesn't mean I don't wanna hang out with the guy. And the fact that Tiger has a potty mouth like myself doesn't shock me at all just like I wasn't all that surprised to hear that he was a regular Don Draper off the course. Yeah, he'll act nice and respectful and choose his words carefully in front of the cameras and sponsors but when it's guy time, it's guy time. You let it all hang out. You wanna hear a couple new words, you come to the wiffle ball field or bball court.

P.S. That's 3 posts today. Your move anonymous rugby player...

Yeah. We Need To Worry About Randy Moss Being a Problem...

The horror!

Anonymous Rugby Player Is Not Happy!

Zingggg!! Call it because this fight is over. I've never been so abused on the internet in my life. I may never blog again after that one. I never said rugby wasn't hard or that blogging twice a day was difficult. I said rugby was gay and you don't have to be an athlete to be good at it. That's just a fact. If Dan Donahue can succeed in it, it aint a real sport. And 3 a day practices? Lies. Maybe for 2 weeks in preseason but no "sport" or "club" meets 3 times a day. I may be funny and handsome but I'm no dummy.

If Beckham Returns And Nobody Sees It Did It Happen?

The Galaxy, in its best performance in months, had romped to a three-goal lead over the Columbus Crew in a showdown of Major League Soccer conference leaders. The game, for all intents, was over.  Bruce Arena walked over to Beckham, who recounted the conversation before a mob of reporters in L.A.'s locker room after the 3-1 triumph Saturday night at Home Depot Center.  “He came up to me and said, 'How about 10-15 minutes? We want to get a good 10-15 minutes,' ” Beckham said. “And I was like, 'Well how about 20-25?' So we went in the middle.”  Beckham made his first appearance since rupturing his left Achilles' tendon nearly six months ago. He came on in the 70th minute for Brazilian midfielder Juninho, drawing high-pitched squeals and a standing ovation, and quickly took a shot -- blocked by Crew defender Chad Marshall (Riverside/Rubidoux HS) -- and then picked up a yellow card for a studs-high collision with Emmanuel Ekpo on the sideline between the teams' benches. 

It's Autumn. Time to let that hair grow a little long behind the ears and have it blow in the wind.  Kinda creepy how me and Becks are always on the same page when it comes to style and looking fabulous.

We Found Our New Blogger

This is what I mean when I say you gotta bring the noise.

This Sport Is So Gay

One day he's blogging under the name "Bayne Train" and the next he's wearing booty shorts and chasing other guys in similar attire. Cool, bro. Cool. Club rugby is a lot like ultimate frisbee or lacrosse. All the real athletes play legitimate sports like basketball, football or soccer so the school creates some faggy game like rugby or frisbee  to make everyone feel good about themselves. Pathetic.

I Told You This Was a "Fuck You" Type of Season

We don't have a good defense? Fuck you. How did the 24-3 halftime deficit feel? You want Tom Brady to cut his hair? Fuck you and here's 3 TD passes for your ass. Wes Welker lost a step from a torn ACL? Fuck you. Let me put 14 points on the board with one knee. We're too green behind the ears in the secondary? Fuck you. I don't hear TO or Chad talking anymore. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Wake up the NFL and tell them it's hunting season. Next up: Sexy Rexy and the Sanchize.

Damn You, Zac Efron. Damn You

Say what you want about him but don't you dare say he doesn't know how to wear a suit. And yes, if I could grow a beard I'd let that shit hang down to my balls

Are We Supposed To Feel Bad?

Inside their struggle? I'm broke? Hey bitch, I'm broke too but you don't see me trying to get famous on TV because I was a big slut in high school. I don't feel bad for these chicks. Just too trashy to be on some Jersey Shore level of fame. They weren't born pregnant or with some disability like gay people. At least they had a choice like, "oh, hey maybe I'll put this condom on this idiot's dick or maybe I'll go on birth control like the other 90% of America. Nahhh I'll get knocked up, not put my baby up for adoption and hopefully spin in into some MTV show where people can feel bad for me and watch me struggle." I mean wake the fuck up. And yeah Farrah's baby daddy is dead but that doesn't give her an excuse to be a cold bitch to everybody in her life. She's the C-word and I never use the C-word but she defines the C-word.



Clinically he is severely obese? Is that a medical term?

Mayweather Won't Fight Pac-man But He'll Fight a Woman. What a Man.

LAS VEGAS -- Boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. has been arrested in Las Vegas on a felony theft charge stemming from a domestic violence complaint by his ex-girlfriend. Mayweather, 33, was booked Friday on a grand larceny charge at the Clark County jail and held on $3,000 bail, Las Vegas police Officer Bill Cassell said. Mayweather's lawyer, Richard Wright, said Mayweather is accused of taking an iPhone from Josie Harris, his ex-girlfriend and mother of three of his children.  Nevada law calls for a grand-larceny charge when the value of the goods in question is $250 or more. "He surrendered," Wright said, denying the allegations against Mayweather. "He did not commit any grand larceny," Wright told The Associated Press. "Josie can't find her iPhone. We're attempting to find it or replace it. We'll cooperate in the investigation. We expect to get the matter resolved." Harris made a police complaint and sought a Family Court protection order Thursday alleging Mayweather pulled her hair, punched her in the head and twisted her arm while she screamed for their children, ranging in age from 7 to almost 11, to call 911.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Floyd Money Mayweather stole an iPhone? BAHAHAHAHAHAH. You don't see Pacquiao stealing cell phones or beating women up. No way. He's too busy being the second coming of Jesus and being a real man. Seriously. Mayweather sets up these insane demands, Pacquiao meets them and Floyd still won't? But he'll beat up a girl? Best pound for pound fighter in my the world, my ass.

Pat Riley Is Shocked. Shocked!

MIAMI -- Pat Riley and LeBron James already have one thing in common. They're keeping track of what's been said about how this Miami Heat team got put together this summer. It seems to be fueling both of them.Chris Bosh to play alongside Dwyane Wade this summer, Riley revealed he thought some critics of Miami's roster moves should "get a life." He is also certain it'll be a motivating point for his team throughout the season. "I know one thing," Riley said. "We will show up and we will play games. And our team will be ready. And I think that's the way we can answer all the critics."

Critics should ''get a life''? What are you a 13 year old girl from 1998? Did he blow a big bubble of gum before he said it and then snap his fingers? Maybe even stomp the foot to show this chick aint playing around. I could see Pay Riley pouting in his house right now like a little bitch. "Why don't people like us?! We have Lebron! Everybody loves Lebron! Like what the fuck?!? Go screw a Vietnamese hooker you haters!" Him and Rex Ryan should go back in time in and fuck each other. Now picture that...

Tom Brady Is About To Get Paid!

Quarterback Tom Brady signed a four-year extension with the New England Patriots that will make him the NFL's highest-paid player, a source close to negotiations confirmed Thursday night. Brady's contract is worth $72 million and guarantees him $48.5 million, a source familiar with the deal told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter. The extension, which will be filed with the league on Friday, will be added onto the final year of Brady's contract and runs through 2014, when he will be 37. Brady has said he wants to play until he's 40.
Brady, who was picked by the Patriots in the sixth round of the 2000 draft, is making $6.5 million this season in the final year of an earlier four-year, $48 million extension. The new deal will make him the league's top-paid player in terms of average annual salary.





I LOVE THE BLACK MAN!! SHOW ME THE MONAYY!!!

This Is Why The Jets Are Going 0-16

FLORHAM PARK, N.J. -- Ray Lewis sounded like he's fed up with the amount of hype surrounding the New York Jets. Join the ever-expanding club, Ray. Managing to out-talk the trash talkers, the Baltimore RavensDarrelle Revis and Mark Sanchez, suggesting the Jets -- Ryan, in particular -- yap too much for a team that hasn't won anything. "We're talking about the Jets like we're talking about the Saints," Lewis told reporters in Baltimore. "Those are the only people that can be dethroned: Drew Brees and the Saints, not Mark Sanchez and the Jets." The only danger is writing a check you can't cash," Lewis said. "That's pressure on his players. Rex can talk all he wants to, but Rex ain't putting on the pads. ... At some point, you put that bull's-eye on your head. They're doing all this talking, like they're in the Super Bowl. OK, do what you do, but come Monday night, the whistle is going to blow and somebody is going to get hit."

I didn't use to like Ray Lewis because he murdered a guy but I'm starting to turn the corner on him.  Have you ever had some bitch just go on a rant completely shut you up? I think it's what the black folk call "getting served" and that's exactly what Rex Ryan got. His old prized jewel of the Ravens defense stood up and told Sexy Rexy to shut the fuck up and sit down. Let the players play because last I checked New York went 9-7 last year, got butt fucked in the AFC championship game and now we wanna crown them champions? I don't care what anybody says about how good the defense is and that I'm developing a man crush on Sanchez. You're not winning games with your QB throwing 12 TD's and 20 Interceptions a year.