-Open up with Angelina smacking Pauly D again. Pauly didn't think it was cool. Situation demands that Angelina gets in her fucking bed. It's sad when The Situation is the only sensible dude on the show.
-Pauly D tells Angelina "you're done." That's mob talk.
-Angelina denies smacking Pauly. Situation takes off his shades and gives her the "Oh no" face.
-Vinny, Ronnie, and Jwhore go to work at the ice cream store. Booooringggggg. At least let Jwoww show off the titties.
-Angelina pretends like she doesn't remember what happened the night before. Why do people do that? They get drunk and fuck up then act like they don't remember a thing. Be a man! Put your name on it!
-Vinny has a tough time finding a barber. Most people would laugh at this but I totally get it. I'm terrified to see the day that Roger Michelle can no longer cut hair. I don't always look good on accident, bitches.
-The Situation is acting like the daddy in the house and tries to help Angelina fit in. I guess it makes sense because between him and Pauly, they're like 62 years old.
-Vinny tells Snooki that she looks good and she responds with a, "really? You tryin to smush right now?" I don't know why but I'm gradually developing a crush on Snooks.
-Angelina apologizes to Snooki for talking shit and the beef is suddenly squashed. PHEW! I couldn't stand that tension.
-Ronnie gets hammered and Sammi doesn't appreciate that. Especially when he dances on her and rubs his cock in her face(thought sluts love that). Then the fighting starts. Sammi goes home. Ronnie creeps on chicks. I'll repeat this exact line for the next 13 episodes.
-Ronnie is dancing and dancing and dancing. This breaks Snooki's heart as she holds her heart and yells "oh my god" 7 times. She approaches Ronnie and he gives her a 15% shove.
-After the shove, all the guys get on Ron and hold him back. REALLY? This chick gets knocked the fuck out last year and you do nothing but your best friend slightly pushes her and it's like a call to arms? Really?
-Ronnie pulls out a number from his pocket and says "That's what...that's what I got." Then he starts speaking spanish, falls to the ground and then sleeps with Sammi. He asks to smoosh.
-Vinny passes out on the been chair and Snooki stumbles on him to call her boyfriend. Shit happens. They end up in Vinny's bed and she asks "You wanna fuck?" Vinny says "sure." Only in Miami.
-The best scene of the season happens in the gellato shop 12 minutes later. Sam and Ronnie have a moment at work and the camera pans over to a random co-worker who simply nods like "yeah, bro. get em."
-MVP supporting the GFF. Love that. Boys night out.
-MVP ditches Angelina by isolating her then running out the door and going to the club. I wanna know how many takes it took them to get that scene down. Probably 4.
-Pauly says "God! There's land mines everywhere!" These boys are taking heavy fire in the middle of the bronx zoo. Stay tuned to see if they make it.
-Hot tub is filled with at least 7 chicks. Situation puts water on his face and exclaims "We got grenades man!" In their defense, the girls aren't thaattt bad. Like if you're drunk and desperate it's not a lost night.
-Snooki has to stand on a stool to reach the ice cream cones at work. It's kind of adorable. I'm terrified for how I'm feeling right now.
-It's official. We now know the fellas go out to the club at 12:12 AM. They don't even leave the house till after that. Is that normal for club people? They're a whole different species.
-Ronnie throws on a polo and a low golf hat. The frat boy look is in full effect tonight. Show ends.