-New roomie named Cooke. This aint Jersey Shore, you bitch. We have names on the Real World. She describes herself as a "fierce athlete who wrecks bitches and is absolutely boy crazy."
-Cooke is gonna be sharing a room with Dustin. I wonder if they'll bone like it's "Frat Pad." By the way, I googled "frat pad, dustin from the real world." I wouldn't do this on any computer but your own or else you'll have a ton of questions to answer.
-Heather's cuteness level has gone up to like 15. I'd marry her yesterday.
-Cooke tells the roommates that she has problems making friends with girls and is a huge tomboy. In other words, I'm a bitch so girls don't like me and only guys tolerate me because I fuck them. That's a fact. If a girl says she likes to hang out with and be friends with dudes it's because she's fucking at least 3 of them.
-Dustin claims he's in a pickle because he has a smoking hot girlfriend and the new bitchy roommate said she wants to blow him. Real pickle, bro. Tough life. Probably not as tough as living on frat prad with a bunch of gay dudes and having gay sex but that's another episode for another day
-Dustin sounds exactly like Terrel Owens when he's pissed off.
-Cooke is whispering in Leroy's ear at the club and the brown chick gets all pissed off because that's her meat. I smell a bilingual blood fest in the works.
-Seriously what's the brown chicks name? Nivea?Naiomi? Niaomi? Niomi? Steven?
-The two hispanic broads bring their anger back from the club and want to start shit with Cooke. As a fellow white person, I'm terrified for this bitch.
-If a girl ever says the words, "I'm not drunk, bro! You are!" She's hammered. Girls drop like 4 hot points when they use words that I use. Don't say "my dude, bro, cunt muscle, oh fuck my ass or turkish tit swimler."
-Huge yelling match ensues between Cooke and the 2 girls. I don't know what the fuck they're yelling about. At a young age I learned to tune out female voices when they go above a certain decibel.
-blah, blah, heather and cooke make up and everything looks jolly and then WHAM, MTV hits us with scenes from the next half of the season. I had a legitimate OH SNAP! moment.